If you’re like me in your 20s, you may sometimes feel lost, confused, or generally unfulfilled career or life-wise. I’ve been there – wondering “what now?”, “am I on the right path?” and battling severe self-doubt.

But here’s the thing – although it may feel like it – you are not alone in this quarter-life crisis. Many young people, especially high achievers and perfectionists, experience this distressing state when expectations we had for “adulthood” haven’t matched our realities. The symptoms are all too common: dissatisfaction in your job, overwhelm at the uncertainty ahead, struggling with various life decisions, and constantly comparing your life to your friends and strangers on social media. 

While the quarter life crisis can feel depressing and isolating, the good news is others relate and you CAN take control. As someone who has overcome uncertainty post-college to pivot into work I’m passionate about, I’m sharing the top 4 strategies that empowered me to develop clarity and make more aligned life and career choices.

Assess Your Core Values

Often our career and life angst stems from disconnecting from our core values – those that energize and excite us. I first got clarity by outlining my top 5 values – things like creativity, achievement, work-life balance, and helping others. This gave me an evaluation framework for opportunities ahead of me – would a new role or path allow me to exercise these values that are most important to my life happiness? Try picking your top 5 values and see how your current trajectory measures up. If it’s falling short, use these to guide your decision-making.

Examples of Core Values

• Authenticity
• Integrity
• Independence
• Self-Development
• Humor

James Clear, the author of one of my favorite self help books Atomic Habits created an incredible list of core values for you to take a look at and gain inspiration from.

Reframe Inner Narratives

A significant challenge in overcoming quarter-life crises involves the stories we subconsciously tell ourselves that reinforce confusion, uncertainty, and self-doubt. These false (but really convincing) narratives stem from imposter syndrome, relentlessly comparing yourself to people on social media, or uncompassionate inner critics. Phrases like: “I’ll never know what’s best for me” or “success and happiness comes so much easier to other people” undermine our sense of control and can make us feel hopeless.

However, recognizing and rewriting these disempowering narratives can have incredible impact. The first step involves noticing this problematic self-talk and challenging its validity. For months I actually carried around a notecard and pen, and tallied every time my inner critic was saying horrible things to me. The number of tallies on that paper was staggering.

By just taking the time to notice your inner critic at work, it begins to dismantle its power. Over time, you will quickly catch your inner critic in the act, and stop those messages from effecting your self esteem.

Next, be sure to give yourself credit for wins and successes, but most of all effort. So many outcomes in live are completely out of our control, we can only control our personal output. For example, if you are job hunting for your dream career, celebrate completing 15 applications instead of beating yourself up about the 2 rejection emails in your inbox.

Focus On Skill Building

This one was hugely helpful to me, especially when I was in a job that did not inspire me whatsoever. By redirecting my energy into building new skills, I was able to build value and resilience for whichever direction life took me next!

To do this, I gave myself mini 30 day challenges to improve my various skills I wanted to develop. In this case, marketing skills. In my property management job at the time, there were upcoming units available, so I offered to create and distribute the flyers for it. This gave me experience with crafting marketing materials and talking to prospective clients.

And months later when I did pivot careers from property management to marketing, these enhanced soft skills absolutely made that transition possible. Working on honing my skills also helped me enjoy my property management job much more in the meantime.

Consider choosing 1-2 skills to devote the next 30 days towards – the feeling of accomplishment alone can help dig you out of a quarter life crisis rut. Accomplishing these realistic goals can help your professional and personal growth.

• Coursera has many free classes on a variety of skills from coding, to AI, and more
• If you are interested in marketing like I was, try taking certifications like Google Analytics or the Hubspot SEO

Build Community Support Systems

Given how isolating the Quarter Life Crisis can feel, the last piece of the puzzle is speaking about your vulnerabilities and getting guidance from those a bit further along. As crazy as it sounds, perusing online forums like Reddit and Quora helped me feel less alone during this time period. It helped me overcome the insecurity and isolated feelings that going through a quarterlife crisis can cause.

I reached out to previous college professors and chatted with them over coffee, and just tried to expand my network of friends to include those older than me. l gained a lot of awareness by having the counseling of older generations. I also found that listening to podcasts and reading self development books also helped me make forward progress.

The quarter life crisis undoubtedly takes grit, courage and resilience to push through. Whether you are rethinking your relationship, career path, or having mental health issues like depression or anxiety. This time poses a unique challenge in gen z and other young people’s lives as they emerge into adulthood.

But by implementing these 4 strategies that worked well for me, my hope is that you’ll develop the clarity needed to get out of this rut and find the unique life path that is best for you!